Monday, January 5, 2009

Moving along with the tale of my tonsils. Let's sum up what we know.....

1. Tonsils are located waaayyyy in the back of your trap, like behind the tongue and near that crazy dangling doo-dad in the back of your mouth.
2. Tonsils are like two little mall cops that work within your throat..mall. They catch all sorts of "undesirables" that might travel into the neither regions of your head.
3. Tonsils can go from being team players to being D-holes in no time.

Now, in my case, lets look at fact #2. My tonsils did their jobs well, and in the end they did their jobs too well. They captured all sorts of goo, sludge, and well, whatever else crawled into my throat. Suddenly, they discovered that they had too much of these "prizes" and did what we all do with excess stuff. They shoved it in the basement. Slowly these "tonsil basements" filled up and um, formed hard little chunks of outer-worldly grossness, commonly known as tonsil stones or "pearls". But before you get excited, realize that these "pearls" aren't worth anything. No one is going to pay you for a fancy necklace made of tonsil pearls. In fact, it's pretty safe to assume that no one is going to pay you for any sort of accessory composed of objects harvested from your body.

Anyway, tonsils stones are bad. They make your mall cops swell up which in turn leads to more stones. It's very gross. At last, it came time to settle the issue once and for all. I was about to recieve the worst christmas present ever. Yes, one the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me an adult tonsillectomy.

5 comments:

Dan said...

I am glad that your tonsillectomy was successful. What replaces the mall cops? What if when there are no mall cops, bad things start happening again? Then what? Oh man, this may be just the beginning. Can you get prosthetic tonsils?

Cindy said...

Do tonsil pearls smell bad?

Cheetah said...

Oh my golly Yes. They smell quite horrible.

B. said...

are you zoidberg?

Lostinthought said...

What Dan said, is your throat under Marshall Law now?