Sunday, January 18, 2009


This happened to me a few years back while I was still trying to stay in shape. How foolish I was....

Today, as I was jogging for the first time since my nintendo power pad broke, I had a little adventure involving love and nature. I had just finished my first 20 miles, so I decided to take a break. I found a nice little shady street and stopped, taking in the world around me. As I was walking around, I spot some movement in a puddle that was still a good 30 yards away. Intrigued, and not willing to start jogging again, I slowly approached the pool of mystery. At about 15 yards I can see that my mysterous wiggling lump in the pool is an animal of some sort. With this in mind, I grab a rock to defend myself in case the pool dweller has dudicus on his/her/its mind. At 10 yards, I can see that the creature is a bird, so I pick up a second rock. When I reach the edge of the pool, I can see that the bird is struggling with something, and wasn't about to fly away. Ready to live the human dream of catching a bird with his/her bare hands, I jog into the shallow lake. When I can finally get a good view of what is going on, what I see is shocking. Perhaps some of our younger readers should look away. Here, I will give you an emoticon to look at while I relate the rest of the story . Ok. I see what at first appears to be a struggle for life occuring between two different birds. Both had each other gripped tightly in their beaks. In an attempt to save some lives, (and to have an excuse for splashing around in a puddle) I race forward start making a series of angry cat/german wails. Finally I was able to break the little tiff up and happily exited the pool feeling like I had just stopped two good bird friends from ruining a perfectly good bird friendship. As I was walking away, I finally dropped my rocks as I realized something. Those birds weren't fighting at all! Rather, I had just broken up a torrid little bird romance. Enraged that the birds had fooled me into entering their "Puddle of Avian Eroticism" I start to yell at the little flying perverts. Finally, a woman who had seen the whole exchange between myself and the birds while sunbathing asked if I was OK. I replied that I was and was just looking for a lost contact lens, ignoring the fact that I had just been shaking my fist in the air screaming something akin to "You little horny devils!!" So, I decided to start jogging away again. That is all.


Dan said...

I don't believe it. I want to see photo documentation.

If it is true, how dare you? How do you live with yourself everyday knowing that you interrupted bird love? They may come back to haunt you. You might get pooped on.

Lostinthought said...

I can only imagine what the lady was thinking.